29 Quotes by Christopher Buehlman

But when I make a good [taxidermy] mount I feel like I beat God in a small way. As though the Almighty said, Let such critter be dead, and I said, 'Fuck You, he can still play the banjo.

Gratitude is a poor reason to marry anyone.

She had seen him once, smiling a little through another friar’s sermon about Hell, saying after the other left that fear of Hell is one of many paths to it. Forget Hell and love one another. That is all He wants of you.

One of the hardest and truest things a grown-up learns is that sometimes it's not okay.

He gets away with it because he's strong.''This is the story of mankind.''I thought you were going to be a priest at one point.''Yes. But then I read the newspaper.

You see why I’m such a good vampire? We’re all lying, devious bastards, not like werewolves, if there are werewolves, whose MO is, “Hi, I’m a werewolf, surprise! And fuck you!” No, we lurk. We’re lurkers.

I mostly drink clear booze because the rest of it looks it's already been through a gentleman.

Happiness is the province of those who ask few questions.

The undead don’t care about careers. Vampires are all retirees.