137 Quotes by Josh Stern

Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks..."


the only drinking problem I've ever had, is figuring out why I'm still stuck in this salad spinner

You always miss 100% of the shots you don't order

Don't ever mistake silence for ignorance, when it is obviously stupidity

I hate pulling out... I mean, I'm really bad at the whole parking thing....

If you love somebody set them free- it also works equally well if you hate somebody

My recipe for success: Have someone else do it

Women need a reason to have sex, while men just need an angle

I spread eggshells all over my room, so anyone who tries to get close when I sleep will know what they're walking on