218 Quotes by Robert Orben

If at first you don't succeed-try, try again. Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept. God used it with people.

The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.

What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.

If you can laugh together, you can work together.

Do your kids a favor - don't have any.