To increase the chances of a writer trying to kill themselves, cut off their hands.

I do not have a problem with people killing themselves, as long as they took at least a hundred years to think about what they are about to do.

We are sometimes depressed by our failure to convince people who strongly believe that we are that we are definitely not depressed.

We sometimes try to impress people we just met by not trying to impress them.

A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water.

Whenever He answers prayers, God usually prioritizes those by people who, instead of their mouths, have prayed with their hands and/or feet.

Even those who want to go to heaven would rather kill than be killed.

Even the world’s greatest actor cannot fake an erection.

Saying that you do not remember something or someone is a less embarrassing or hurtful way of saying that you do not know it or them anymore.