168 Quotes About Comedian

Shamu and I have arrived safely in Costa Rica. He was stopped by airport security because he carries enough artillery in his pants pockets to construct a sawed-off shotgun. Evidently, he thought we were headed to Iraq.

Glass half full, or glass half empty, what am I? The answer? I'm not the bloody glass, I'm the fucking tap! Meaning, whatever my glass decides to be on a certain day, empty or full, I control how I feel and the flow of the milkshake inside it

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Comedy is like sex for the brain. And the brain has to fuck.

Comedians are the most ruthless critics in the world.

Some so-called comedians are, not funny, but a joke.

If you say enough idiotic things in a row, you're a comedian?

The mark of a poor comedian is not making the other person laugh. The mark of a worse comedian is asking if the person got it.

Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended.