1,680 Quotes About Comedy

Love is the canvas covering the furniture that you've become a part of

I really don’t get this whole oranges thing. It’s like, does he want to eat them or go out with them?

The truth is what we say it is...prove to me this desk is not a cow!

According to the rules of comedy, your suffering will be funny after an undetermined length of time. Maybe not while you're having your gangrenous leg sawed off, watching your home burn down or learning how to be intimate with your cellmate, but, in the big scheme of things, soon.

I wondered about my inner child. In fact, I was troubled. Did I even have an inner child, I asked myself, given that, in essence, I’d just been born?

I knew I was in deep shit. I didn’t know how deep—just that I still hadn’t touched bottom.

Communist until you get rich. Feminist until you get married. Atheist until the airplane starts falling.

You must be clever, Tracey to do these forgeries.""She's not clever. I did them," yelled Frieda."You'll get five years.""She did them."From Halfpennies and Blue Vinyl

I was a lazy reader as a kid. One nutrition label on a box of Cap’n Crunch and I’d have to take a nap.