286 Quotes About Funny-but-true

To all lazy people; I can predict you're future!You're sitting on either the couch or your bed, watching TV snacking on something, but then you want to change the channel, but you don't wanna get up and so you claim you can't reach it, so you say "Its ToO FaR." and just sit there.Nobody can prove me wrong. Why? because, it's in the future, it hasn't happened yet.

Please respect my ism, though I have none. I too will stay away from your crap. Surely it's fair play. Both of us should be okay with this. Or are you not?

Don't worry. Life goes on. With or without you. So, live it, while it's given you.

Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.

We can beat our swords into plowshares, and we can beat our plowshares into swords, but as far as computers go, a hammer can only change the shape of the junk, not it's function.

If it's true that men and women can be 'just friends' then how come all cheaters first start out as 'just friends?

The only relatives who remain friends with you throughout life, are most probably but acquaintances, and not your relatives from any side.

Nothing ruins a good thing quite like knowing you share your opinions with mindless little tits.

One piece of wisdom a writer quickly learns ~ typos keep you humble.