528 Quotes About Hilarious

Wealth seldom fails to breed the fear of poverty.

I really don’t think you should put your hand inside the manticore, dear. You don’t know where it’s been. —Enid Healy

We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings who do them in public were large enough.

The least we each ought to do for someone who treats us like a king or a queen is to treat them like a prince or a princess.

Okay, well I think the programme is like being screamed at for an hour by a drunk with a strobe-light, but like I said--

Just a few questions for you, Mr. Dunne. Or Kenny. Can I call you Kenny? I feel we've become friends in these past few seconds. Can I call you Kenny?

Bombs Away!" he yelled, swooping low over StregaSchloss. He saw little figures on the ground fleeing from the large green projectile that was speeding their way. "And a direct hit, if I'm not mistaken," he observed to himself. With a tremendous slapping sound, Ffup's digestive overload landed on a human target. There was a scream, a ghastly choking sound, and then silence.

Piers looked up at him. 'You're new. What's your name?' 'Neythen, my lord.''Sounds like a terrible illness. No, more like a bowel problem. I'm sorry, Lord Sandys, your son has contracted neythen and won't live a month. No, no, there's nothing I can do. Sandys would have preferred hearing that to syphilis.

I don't know,' he said irritably. 'Is it meant to improve you?'She swiveled toward him, eyes wide with shock.'Because nothing could,' he added. Her mouth dropped in astonishment. Blotchy scarlet rushed her complexion. One would have thought he'd shot her.Oh dear God!He realized belatedly how wrong it had sounded.'No! God... that is to say.. nothing is necessary to improve you. Nothing could possibly make you better... than you already are.