5,226 Quotes About Humour

He leaned in for a sniff. 'Smells like a horse's arse! I've got Ian!' -'No sniffing allowed! We never discussed sniffing! I cry foul!' Ian was outraged. 'I'm not giving you a shilling!' -'Give him a shilling! It's not his fault you smell like a horse's arse!

Look at you quivering like a bag of fresh tofu!

We left the nursery in silence, Ma smoking a roll-up, looking like she hadn’t slept in a week or maybe like she had slept for a whole week. When the nursery was just a grubby finger smudge behind us Ma looked down at me and said in her poshed-up telephone voice: “Will you speak to Janie about swearing? Fuckin’ busybody!”I laughed and swung our linked hands.“Aye, fuckin’ busybody.”Pleas of laughter escaped us and spiraled up into the hot, blue Scottish sky. We laughed all the way home

Tony smothered the life that me and Ma had built, a furry mould growing over a sweating slab of cheese.

Thanks to bad graphic design, some readers love only the electronic version of some books.

...weak of spine and flaccid of upper lip.

I’m not like others in my profession.” He frowned slightly and added, more to himself, “Might be why I’ve been an apprentice for the past three years.” [~ Mr Joseph Maxwell, Bow Street Society member.]

How could I suddenly go from a person who had struggled to dissect an already dead mouse, to someone who was willing to murder a human being? There was no logic to it!

Skul-man!' he exclaimed as he rushed forward to shake his hand. 'Last I heard you were trapped on a dead world overrun by evil trans-dimensional superfiends!' Skulduggery nodded. 'Just got back.