5,226 Quotes About Humour

You will try to improve me, Captain, but I tell you it cannot be done. I am resigned to moral apathy and corporeal decrepitude, and have done with projections. No, Captain,” with a pining sigh, “I think I will simply sit in the shade and wait for either a customer or death, the latter I might prefer, at such a point.

On peut rire de tout mais pas avec n'importe qui.

Woodhouse's father entered the room violently and without its consent. The rats scurried away from his work boots, and his flat cap was imbued with tweedy malevolence. His moustache bristled with ill intent and the only thing great about his coat was the quantity of fear that it inspired.

Only a few know how to use fame to make real money.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Kurt pick his way around testing for heat before taking each step and avoiding places where the ash was heaps up.

The groom should not see you in the dress just before the wedding, that’s bad luck. You know what’s worst luck? Is getting married, itself. I’ve read studies. It’s like 2 out of 3 of those end in divorce, sometimes more. 3 out of 2, some.

Erm…I don’t know maybe for kissing me and tasting so damn delicious, maybe for holding my hand in public, maybe for looking far too hot in that sexy, snug tee when you should just be looking like Jo’s little brother. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I chose the much more sophisticated reaction of scowling, hard. I would have kicked him again, but I was convinced he’d moved his legs out of the way. Coward.” ~ Ella, A Perfect Moment

Just because he likes the same bizzaro crap as you doesn't mean he's your soul mate.