437 Quotes About Jokes

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order.

There is funny ha-ha, and there is funny peculiar, and beneath a trapdoor in Kevin's mind is a place where the two blur together, the place of jokes, churning so furiously frequently, when it kicks up a line, he has no idea what it will turn out to be.

Death would not surprise us as often as it does, if we let go of the misbelief that newborns are less mortal than the elderly.