1,147 Quotes About Sarcasm

It's easy to make women happier and busier. How? Buy her a talking mirror beside bitching it has to be programmed to say, "You are looking very beautiful and slimmer," at precisely every hour.

Sometimes we know people who aretoo wonderful for words. I am not one of them.Or you, for that matter, as you well know.

Thank you so much for the rude know-it-all attitude while also having to look at your ridiculously colored hair and obnoxious facial and chest piercings. I am very fortunate to have just been schooled by someone who looks like they graduated from Care Bear Carnage University.

Don’t worry, hero. If the vamp shows up, I’m here to protect you.”“Great, I can hide behind your massive ego.

Everything's just fucking Disney with you.

You jealous souls are primeval without a doubt,Teach yourself to eat better instead of trying to eat one's heart out.

A good lover? One percent talent and ninety nine percent hard work.

It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty of half full. Just drink it while everyone is arguing about it and be thankful you had a glass with something in it!

Women KNOW, we just know. Even if we didn't know, we would know. Men won't get this, but women will..because we KNOW