1,006 Quotes About Satire

Making God a man is the consolation prize that our forefathers gave themselves for not being the ones who were each blessed with a vagina.

Some of the best things that have ever happened to us wouldn’t have happened to us, if it weren’t for some of the worst things that have ever happened to us.

Females and boys are the only creatures that propose others for friendship. As for the rest of us, friendship sort of just happens.

We are sometimes depressed by our failure to convince people who strongly believe that we are that we are definitely not depressed.

Just for a while": Death's opening chat-up line in His great seduction, before he drugged you with soporific comforts, distracted you with minor luxuries and ensnared you with long-term payment plans.Join the Rat Race "just for a while."Concentrate on your career "just for a while."Move in with your girlfriend "just for a while."Find a bigger place, out in the burbs "just for a while."Lie down in that wooden box "just for a while.

Most men would no longer enjoy conversing with most women if they stopped bringing their vaginas along.

We are way less likely to love someone just because they love us than we are to hate someone just because they hate us.

We are loved way more by some of the people who have not contacted us in the last twelve or so months than we are loved by some of those who contact us every twelve or so days … or hours.

Loneliness tortures many if not most of the elderly more intensely and more frequently than it torments many if not most of us who will never be or have not yet been pushed or pulled into old age.