1,018 Quotes About Witty

so the bartender knew he would be paid handsomely. Not beautifully, but handsomely as there is a subtle distinction and one all pretty boys need to hear.

wondering if Hercules was available, pondering the twelve labors of Hercules assuming that Hercules was a mythical Greek obstetrician

An octopus, who holds the record for defense in a football game – ten tackles

Glancing around for his friends eenie, meenie, miney, and mo, they were nowhere to be found and he was left stranded with this lane picking dilemma, so he grimaced and picked the first lane offered.

I enjoy poetry where I can talk as bizarre as I please, but theology or philosophy, I always respect the truth by taking it a step further.

Well we can't be having that. One person starts having fun and it turns into an epidemic. Difficult to stop that kind of thing, you know.

I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things like money, contracts and books are made up of soft paper.

I chase goals, not girls.

The primary feature of women is not a 'beauty', it's a 'mystery'.