To a man, a woman is fun to be with … until she gains weight. To a woman, a man is fun to live with … until he loses his job.

He who makes fun of a short and fat man’s weight is much less cruel than he who makes fun of his height.

More often than not, expecting to lose weight without first losing the diet that made the weight loss necessary is like expecting a pig to be spotless after hosing it down while it was still rolling in mud.

One of the leading causes of obesity is the misbelief that, when it comes to juice, ‘100%’ means ‘sugar-free.

When a man's bank balance becomes too small, his woman flees. For a man to do the same, his woman's body — or vagina — has to do the opposite.

In some cases, people with a body (whose size) they did not long for are victims of having a bank balance (whose size) they longed for.

Some men’s chests are more buttlike than some women’s butts.

Some people who have been working out regularly for months or even years are still out of shape because the number of cheat days they have in a week exceeds six.

You can be, not too old, but too big for some clothes.