316 Quotes About Funny-and-random

You're not the butcher, selling sausages. You're the cow, pre-sausage.

I bet when Godzilla first came out, God was like: "Damn, that name is way cooler.

If God created man in his image... Does God have a functioning penis? And does God manually handle every penis he creates? Or does he outsource the job to penis-manufacturing elves?

Holy mama llama. That’s Nathanial Stone. Nathanial Stone is sitting in my booth. Nathanial Stone is in the Finewhile Diner sitting in my booth. I’m supposed to wait on Nathanial Stone. I’m going to make a fool out of myself. I just know it. I can feel it coming. Crap.

Of course I love you. For real. I will sure come and personally meet you myself. Just to make sure you're well. When is your funeral?

So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Sure! Just a notch less than those rascals wearing godly robes.

Ladies glisten, men perspire, horses sweat.-Early Nun Quote, The Old Ursuline Convent (1727) New Orleans, LA

Dead people are just great. Meet me when you are.

If you want to say, Lucia, there is no inside of the park benches, I won’t argue with you. But, then you have to say where the pigeons come from.