286 Quotes About Funny-but-true

if you've ever been to an old-timey museum, you've seen those silly portrait paintings that vain noblemen of by-gone eras used to plaster all over the walls of their pompous mansions.Today, thanks to social media, people can take pointless pictures and pollute the world with their dumb shit faster than ever before. Progress!

People who have absolutely nothing interesting or unique to say think writing a book will make them interesting. They think when they tell people "I'm a writer" it sounds cooler than if they say "I clean houses for a living.

I took the boys [ages 2, 5 & 7] to Olan Mills Photo Studio to get a portrait made of them. The photographer was a young woman. She arranged them several different ways to get good photos for us. At one point she had them lined up in a row and said, “Cross your arms.” All three instantly crossed their arms across their chests as we do to receive Holy Communion. The photographer, surprised, exclaimed, “Not like you're dead!

GRRRRRAAAAAWWW

Most people are but a fake-art, and as real as a concealed fart.

His deepest need was that people should like him. An admirable trait that; in a spaniel. Or a whore.

It was 10:30 in the morning and I was already running behind. This is hardly unusual, but it pisses me off every single time.

What if everything about me is totally made up? What if I’m actually…I don’t know. A wanted fugitive in the States.”“Julia.” He reached across the table and grabbed her hand. “Nobody makes up being a high school math teacher.”“That’s why it’s the perfect disguise!”He shook his head. “Nobody.

Wann ist man erwachsen?.....Paps meint: Wenn du Dinge tust, obwohl dir deine Eltern dazu geraten haben.Florian behauptet: Endgültig erwachsen bist du erst, wenn alle Pflanzen auf deinem Fensterbrett leben und du keine davon rauchen kannst.