528 Quotes About Hilarious

And to make matters worse, the two deer shining the lanterns inside the ambulance’s headlights were tired and explained through an intercom system that would not be working again until the morning.

like someone who obsessively collects paintings of hoarders

She looks me dead in the face and says, “The safe word is going to be ‘immigration,’ because you know I’ll stop it.

He shook his head in wonder. "You are magnificent.""I keep telling everyone that," she said with a nonchalant shrug, "But you seem to be the only one to believe me.

Oh, god…” I whimper. “I haven’t done anything yet, baby,” Colton growls. “I know,” I pant. “I was just saying your name.

Live the journey, learn the lessons, regret not.

I come from a worried people. These people worry and are overly cautious. The worried people are very suggestive and read the side effects on every medication to make sure they experience all of them, even the side effects experienced by the placebo people. If it only happens in males, my female people will figure out a way to have that side effect, too. My people worry out of love, though.

Is my paranoia getting completely out of hand, or are you mongoloids really talking about me?

PARENTS. WE WOULD BE BETTER OFF ON OUR OWN. Except for, you know, food.