5,226 Quotes About Humour

Jake's in trouble.'Luca rolled his eyes. 'What now?''He's gone off somewhere, I think I know where, and I don't think it's good.''Cant that boy ever stay in and watch telly like the rest of us?

Sadie gave her head an exaggerated scratch. ‘Don’t come too close if you know what’s good for you, these nits are on steroids.

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.

MmmmmmI like that thing you do with your tongue. What do you call it? Speaking? Yeah, I dig it

I tend to throw tantrums a lot. Wear a helmet in my presence.

I want a baby of my very own one day, but it seems that my being male is a BIIIIT of a problem.

Look at all the things that can go wrong for men. There’s the nothing-happening-at-all problem, the too-much-happening-too-soon problem, the dismal-droop-after-a-promising-beginning problem; there’s the size-doesn’t-matter-except-in-my-case problem, the failing-to-deliver-the-goods problem…and what do women have to worry about? A handful of cellulite? Join the club. A spot of I-wonder-how-I-rank? Ditto.

A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water.

À quelques dizaines de kilomètres de là, au presbytère de Saint-Cajetan-d’Armagh, l’atmosphère était à l’orage. Le curé Tardif écumait de rage. On aurait dit un diable dans l’eau bénite.