1,006 Quotes About Satire

To increase the chances of a writer trying to kill themselves, cut off their hands.

I do not have a problem with people killing themselves, as long as they took at least a hundred years to think about what they are about to do.

Not everyone who has killed themselves because they were HIV positive would have been killed by AIDS.

Some people are still alive only because they find being dead more boring than being alive.

For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone has succeeded, they have to either be profiting or likely to profit from that person’s success, or be that person.

Tell me everything!" she'd cry, salivating. Poor Reva. She might actually have thought I was capable of sharing things. "Friends forever?" She'd want us to make some sacred pact. She always wanted to make pacts. "Let's make a pact to have brunch at least twice a month. Let's promise to go for a walk through Central Park every Saturday. Let's have a daily call-time. Will you swear to take a ski trip this year? It burns so many calories.

Some women wear a miniskirt to reveal their thighs; some wear one to conceal their age.

There’s no such thing as a good or bad person: there are just people who have each been or seem to have been good or bad to you, someone, or some people, thus far.

This is why people like writing. You visit old friends without having to go on Facebook and see what they're up to and deal with what idiots call FOMO. You make them into what you want them to be, the people they could be if only they were braver, smarter.