316 Quotes About Funny-and-random

Come Hell or High Water" usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub

Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything….but getting a wicker basket to fit them is a fiasco

If someone loves sweet things and constantly eats angel´s hair tartlets should this be diagnosed as having some sort of heavenly trichotillomania?

I love chicken sooo much! I could eat it all the time.Then I would get sick...

What the famous big blue Boy Scout told to a green Kryptonite? What?? YOU rock!

I didn't actually know what regret tasted like—but I imagined if it did have a flavor, it would be lutefisk.

The need for clean clothing outlived disasters. The end of the world could come, but that would only mean more bloodstains to wash.

My book sales are way down today. Also, I've received two scathing reviews. One of them calls me “a purveyor of insipid wet-dreams.

What’s wrong with nature shows?”“You can’t believe anything the narrators say. One claimed that some animals mate for life. Come on, they need time off to eat and sleep, don’t they?