289 Quotes About Funny-humor

Knowing all the languages in the world could help you to really understand all the jokes you can hear... from my future Kids' Funny Business.

The quintessential 'make' of the Cosmos or Universe, is 'unity' and 'oneness'. Get it somehow, anyhow. Live accordingly. Or remain as you are. And die a dumbass. Your choice, douchebags.

I'm joking when I say I'm the grand-pop of those claiming to be an avatar-messiah or god. But if they're serious, then, I am who I am.

...and there encountered with him all at once Sir Bors, Sir Ector, and Sir Lionel, and they three smote him at once with their spears, and with force of themselves they smote Sir Lancelot's horse reverse to the earth. And by misfortune Sir Bors smote Sir Lancelot through the shield into the side...

Marry me. Nay, marriage will cost us precious moments together. Let us make sweet, passionate love right here. Let me bear your children.”A primal growl signaled Miss Lynn getting over her shock at being thus addressed. She lunged forward; Jack deftly rolled off the bench, jumping up out of her reach.“Goodness, I didn’t expect you to be quite this enthusiastic about my advances. If I don’t play hard to get, how will I ever know whether or not you respect me?

Dogs are angels full of poop.

One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.

All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it.

How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat?