For breakfast to be called ‘in bed’ instead of ‘on top of a bed,’ the house in which it is about to be eaten has to have at least two rooms (excluding the kitchen); (at least) three, if it has a bathroom.

One of the main functions of a push-up bra is to lower the number of mothers who seem like mothers.

Just before we have sex, the question often is: To pee, or not to pee?

I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people’s faeces more disgusting than a bird’s droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all.

Nothing reminds one of how shitty inequality is more often than the fact that there are companies who make and people who use 1-ply toilet papers.

There probably was a time when the idea of having a toilet inside a house was repulsive.

Most people would rather eat inside a windowless room in which they have just defecated than eat inside one in which someone else has just farted, even if the room does not have a toilet.

Passing their toilet training is the very last thing that some adults did that has made their parents proud of them.