I only like to coat things with the truth, that’s the only apparel things need these days.

The only thing you should feel entitled to is gratitude.

He threw caution to the wind. Caution was not too fond of the wind and would later seek revenge on him for this treacherous debauchery.

I’d normally spare you the details, but that would kind of defeat the purpose of writing a story.

He remembered that he did have one thing going for him – his memory.

Her guts told her that something was amiss. Alexandra only spoke to her intestines once in a while, so she wasn’t sure if they were to be trusted.

Santa was sweating, so much so that he realized that his coat was in no way indicative of a man who acclimated to changing temperature conditions

The vet was open this late, because he needed the business and the money to keep the “not closed” sign lit.

And the emu, not standing up to the cassowary, accompanied the cassowary on their continued journey of the safari, never to return because a zebra herd trapped them back into pre-color television times indefinitely.

Get your head out of your ass, you already reek of hypocrisy, so why add notes to the fragrance?