64 Quotes About Cynical-humor

Evolution could be true. Apes lick their nuts. Religious nuts do too.

Yeah, I assure you I hear you perfectly. But my ears don't do so as deftly.

Of course I love you. For real. I will sure come and personally meet you myself. Just to make sure you're well. When is your funeral?

My condolences, you're still alive.

You still are? There go my plans! And the suit I had bought to attend your funeral. Well, well. Anyway, do call me up when you an't.

I love you all - if you are not people!

Children throw tantrums because they've imagined their 'father in heaven' does so. And because, their inherited religious book has, in written, shown them so.

If I were married, I would be unmarried.

An everyday Doomsayer in sandwich board abruptly walked away from what, over the last several days, had been his pitch, by the gates of a museum. The sign on his front was an oldschool Prophecy of the End. The one bobbing on his back read 'forget it.